MY POEMS
I embrace poetry as the language of my soul - a vessel for my feelings, dreams, and fleeting moments. Through its verses, I weave the tapestry of my inner world, uncovering who I am and who I am becoming. It is the door to which I escape, to wander the landscapes of my heart and mind.
FROM TIME TO TIME
I met the other version of me
when the whole world shut down.
I was shaking constantly,
grasping for some air to breathe.
The nightmare I used to see
when I closed my eyes—
I saw it too,
riding beneath the scorching sun.
Before the masks,
before the hazmat suits,
arrogance and foolishness
were kings within me.
I never thought lightning could strike
so hard—
my soul, scattered
like debris after wildfire.
A zombie—
neither living nor dead.
Skinny and ugly,
tangled and sour.
Even my own flesh and bones
didn’t seem to care.
Each time I spoke,
the world echoed the same stale words.
It was terrifying.
All I could do
was try—just try—to survive.
I cried out for help—
but only laughter replied.
That was when everything
began to fall apart—
quietly, devastatingly.
I wondered,
was it only me?
The voices grew louder,
more serious, more cruel.
I felt like dying.
And for the first time in my life,
I thought of death
as something almost tender.
BUY ME SOME LOVE, WOULD YOU?
I say hello to the morning dew,
The tip of your lips and the ocean blue.
I let the robe slide down my body,
Sending shivers down my spine.
Cold wind whispers through my hair,
Saying, “Love, I’ve got you here!”
I hold it tightly in my hands,
Never wishing I had to let go.
A LITTLE BIT
OF YOU
A profound truth hidden in silence,
My infatuation blooms in a frenzy of desire.
Beacon light intertwines our gaze,
Two leaves brush each other in a secret lyre.
One shameless, wishful thought,
You look at me the way I do.
Just a little bit of you,
A little bit of a utopian dream.
Yet my shadow fades within the dawn.
And you eluded my touch.
I crave your warmth,
As I am walking away from your charms.
You left me wondering.
As if you are reaching out for presence.
Pleading to be seen,
Making my soul paused, numb, wordless, and unsure.
If I were to be yours,
I wouldn’t have this body, this face, this faith.
No, my fingers could only graze your hair.
And I am enough, enough … in that small piece of you.
AND TODAY,
I'M ALONE
I stroll on the same path,
Every dawn, when all beings are asleep.
I befriend the cold,
lock my hand with the fog.
Damp grasses and dark shadows become my sanctuary.
I have not yet seen any light,
But the light from lamps.
The crickets have fallen silent,
And the chicken has started to flap its flightless wings.
Here I stand, at the edge of my glory.
And today, I am alone.
Just like yesterdays,
Just like the years that have passed.
Though there have been moments when I walked with pride.
My single soul could not hide,
Today, I am alone.
Just like yesterdays,
Just like the years that have passed.
I do not wish for this to change,
The stillness comforts me.
Yes, today, I am alone, just like yesterdays and the years that have passed.
But, never lonely.
SAJAK NYOLOT
Aku tuh cinta sama kamu, cinta banget,
Setiap kali aku lihat mata kamu, dadaku tuh deg deg-kan.
Aku gak tahu kamu itu goblok atau gak peka,
Tapi masa iya dari tatap mataku, kamu gak ngeh juga?
Apa kamu sebenernya lagi jual mahal? Sok cakep kamu!
Asal kamu tahu ya, kalau kamu gak respon juga,
Aku gak akan lagi kirim-kirim kode, masih banyak ikan di laut,
Itu kata temen-temenku, kamu tuh harusnya bersyukur,
Gak setiap hari kamu ketemu orang yang naksir,
Coba dipikir, jangan cuma cengar cengir!
SAJAK KORPORAT
Aku lelah, lelah se-lelah-lelahnya,
Harus senyum manggut-manggut,
Padahal lagi carut marut,
Dikit-dikit kesulut.
Aku lelah, lelah se-lelah-lelahnya,
Sumbu pendek bertebaran,
Lengking suara menusuk telinga,
Topeng di wajah harus di touch-up.
SAJAK PUTUS PEREMPUAN
Apa maksud kamu minta putus?
Udah ada yang lain ya?
ya? Iya kannn?
Jahat kamu!
Gak usah kamu buat-buat alasan
Belagak bilang, “bukan kamu, tapi aku”
Halah, bacot
Memang kamu dari awal udah gak cinta, iya kan?
Memangnya aku kurang apa?
Semua udah aku kasih ke kamu!
Semua love language udah aku try
Bisa-bisanya kamu!
Kenapa kamu minta putus?
Apa karena kemarin Ibumu lihat aku pakai rok mini?
Atau karena ayahmu tahu aku gak sholat?
Apa perlu aku yakinin mereka langsung?
Kenapa yang?
Apa salahku?
Pokoknya aku gak mau putus!
Kita, kita ulang dari awal ya? Ok?
That Cold Night
Before I came to life that night,
The stars flickered beautifully.
I had a good time,
Humming the worn melody.
I am aged, I lost trust,
Just didn’t realise you’re there.
Looking at the other paths,
A rustic young romance dissolved in the air.
Could I ever repeat that moment?
I might look at you differently.
Wanted to piece all the fragments back.
Tasted the horizon we once shared.
Dear Lord, why did You blind me?
I did nothing but let you go by.
Damn that smile, that voice.
I missed it, felt no pulse within.
Now I’m longing,
Now I’m hoping.
Just wishing to see,
And hold the air with no blues.
If you ever read this,
You should know it’s you.
With the wishing wind,
I hope it reaches you.
Hell Knows,
I am Free
Oh, stop that nonsense, would you?
Put down that guitar.
Stop the dance.
Listen to me!
Don’t preach unless you do it.
Don’t speak, I know you’re lying.
You ain’t God.
I am no worshiper.
You Don’t
Own Me
I don’t think you understand,
You don’t own me.
I love what I do,
You cannot control me.
My presence is a free will.
I am determined to show you.
You said that I am stupid,
But what do you know?
Sajak Berhenti
Kau tak lihat langit mendung malam ini?
Hujan turun, tidak deras, tapi tubuhku basah.
Aku sudah lama berdiri di bawah derainya.
Menantimu, inilah saatnya aku berhenti.
Kau masih sama, memandangku.
Dingin, diam tak bergeming.
Kedua tanganmu terlipat di depan dada.
Keningmu berkerut, entah apa yang kau pikirkan.
Sajak Kamu
Rasanya, aku ingin sekali mendekatimu.
Setiap kali kamu tersenyum, hatiku berdebar.
Lidahku kelu, kakiku bergetar.
Ahhh sial! Aku jadi kepikiran kamu.
Tidak, please, jangan bicara.
Suaramu, ckckck sungguh meresahkan.
Dan, tawamu yang berat dan dalam itu,
Rasanya ingin sekali kubawa pulang.
Aku tahu, kalau kamu tahu,
Tapi, aku tahu, kamu pura-pura tidak tahu.
Mengapa? Apa karena aku dan kamu begitu berbeda?
Jangan diam saja, kamu membuatku gugup!
Andai saja kita sama.
Aku yakin, aku bisa membuatmu jatuh cinta.
Tapi sayang, kita sama dengan tidak mungkin.
Itulah mengapa, aku tidak membalas tatapanmu.
Stay
No one has ever fought for me,
No one has ever wanted me.
I gave them all I had to give,
Still, they left me,
Alone.
Lonely.
But you...
I never thought you'd stay.
You know my past.
My flaws, my missteps,
And still,
You stay.
One Way In
One Way Out
I do not know about you,
My life seems to have but a single door.
It may open to countless places,
Just never the ones I long for.
It feels like I'm trapped.
With only one way in and one way out.
The walls echo with silence,
And my thoughts churn into doubt.
Maybe the place I seek so dearly,
Can only be reached alone.
With fear and fragile hope in tow.
Sometimes the wrong direction is the only way to grow.
